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- My mother is asking me to promise her that if she moves to Assisted Living that she won't have to move again. The people at the community are telling me that they feel she'll be able to live there her entire life. Is this true?
We all hope that your mother doesn't have to move again; and I'm quite certain that you would be supportive of that idea as well. ... - My parents have been contemplating moving from our family home, but they've been there fifty-five years, and they can't envision moving from a 2,780 square foot home to a 700 square foot retirement apartment. What can I do to help them?
The dilemma of wanting larger square footage, coupled with the accumulation of a lifetime of personal possessions are issues that affect many people. At some ... - My brother is sabotaging my efforts to get my father to move out of his home. Every time I think dad is going to move, my brother steps in and says something dumb like, “Dad, I just worry about you having to move…” or “maybe you could spend one more summer in your home.” What can I do to combat this or how can I get my brother to shut up?
This is a common problem. Your brother sounds as if he’s feeling guilty about encouraging your father to move. He may be reacting ... - My mother was willing to visit the places that CHOICE suggested. I’m glad to say she was pleasantly surprised. She’s even contemplating the move now. There’s one thing she keeps saying, and that’s “I don’t really want to live around all of those old people.” She’s 87 herself. What do I say to her?
What your mother is saying to you is an honest and common statement made by most people moving into retirement or assisted living. She ... - My mother needs more care than my father. They want to stay together, but I can’t see my father doing well in a care setting. How do I best help them decide what to do?
The fact that men are living longer is making this become a more frequent problem. When couples have varying care needs, it is the ... - My mother has an IV to help hydrate her. She has dementia, so she forgets what the tubes are for, and she keeps removing them from her arm. What can we do?
If your mother is living in her own home, it is likely difficult to monitor her closely enough to see when she's struggling with the ... - My mother is caring for my father, who has Alzheimer’s Disease. She is so depressed and I think she’s in over her head at this point. What can I do to convince her to allow us to place Dad in someone else’s care?
Focus first on your mother's needs? Caring for someone with dementia can be a 24-hour, 7 day a week job. If your mother ... - My father is reverting to thinking he’s a much younger man, and he feels he needs to be at work. Last week he got dressed and got on the bus. He didn’t know where he was going, and we didn’t know where he went. This sent the entire family into a state of panic. My mom wants to keep caring for him at home, but she’s so hard of hearing and she sleeps so soundly that she doesn’t hear him get up and start moving about.
Your father's memory loss and confusion do place him at greater risk of harm or injury, and you have reason to be concerned. If ... - My mother has rugs all over her retirement apartment. The nurse in the community told her that she may want to consider taking them out, because the nurse is concerned that my mother will trip over the carpets. Truth be known, she has, and she’s even fallen; but they are one of her fondest memories of her home and her past. To give them up would be a great loss to her. What do I do?
Many people get emotionally tied to possessions - even possessions that can be potentially hazardous to our health. Decisions like this are always a ... - My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease yesterday. In retrospect, I knew all along there was something wrong. What concerns me is that I was told that he’s in the “middle stages” of the disease. What does this mean?
This is the longest and much more visible stage of the disease. Clinicians tell us that this period lasts from two to ten or ... - My mother never eats breakfast. She had agreed to move to an assisted living community, but now she's refusing to go, because she feels it's a waste of money that they won't give her a credit for not eating breakfast.
This is not an unusual concern; however, it's possible that your mother is making more out of this issue than is really necessary. You ...
